My anxiety and depression started as young as I can remember. Granted, it was nothing like it is today, but I still had slight depression and anxiety. My earliest memory was me being so terrified of going to art class in 1st grade. I would cry and cry and just be so scared to leave my classroom. My amazing 1st grade teacher would have to give up her alone prep time to come to art class with me so I wasn’t so scared.
As my early years went on I would have similar experiences. In 4th grade, I went to the nurse ALL THE TIME! I just wanted to go home so I would fake illnesses just so she would let me call my mom and I could go to the safety of my home.
Junior high was the start of my “more tough” depression. Junior high years SUCK! I was super awkward as I was starting to become a women and didn’t know how to dress or act. I was overweight and had pimples all over my face. I was shy and didn’t have too many friends. I was picked on by many mean girls and hated going to school. Around this same time, my parents separated and then a year later, divorced, adding even more stress to my young “complicated life”. I have always been so unsure of myself and always felt like an easy target to bullies. I wanted to fit in. I wanted to be like the other normal, pretty girls my age. But I was just me. I now wish that I could have been more comfortable with that. Junior high was also the first time I got to experience going to a therapist. Im not really sure I got much out of it at that age. It may have been my first experience but definitely not my last!
As high school started, I slowly started to grow into and feel much more comfortable in my own skin. I still felt like a nerd, but made some new friends and finally felt like I sort of fit somewhere in life. Overall high school was a great time for me looking back. I had friends I saw all the time, was involved with a few clubs/activities and even got my first boyfriend at the age of 16. Fast forward to my college years…this is where my anxiety and a more deep depression comes into play…
I just wanted this post to be more of an entry level post and a slight background into my life and mental health. I definitely plan on diving deeper into all of these subjects in posts to come! Most of my posts are going to focus on college to now. I really wish early teens would be able to read my blog or any blogs discussing anxiety and depression to show that they are not alone and so many people go through the same problems and situations. I also want these kids to learn from other people “mistakes”. Although my “mistakes” are technically ‘bad’ there are many other ways I could have dealt with my depression. I feel like dealing with problems earlier in life would have helped me so much and if I can get through to one other person dealing with same issues, that would be outstanding!